Friday, April 29, 2011

HORROR STORY


THE SCARIEST TALE EVER TOLD:

This story may make you wet yourself.  This story may make you want to curl up in a ball in the corner of the room.  This story is one of the scariest stories ever told.  Be warned that you may go insane from reading this horrifying tale.  There once was a young boy named Jon.  Jon was no older than 16.  Jon was scared to death of authority and authority figures.  It had been that was since he was a little kid.  Whenever there was an adult, a teacher, a store clerk, a police officer, or anyone older than him in the same room as him, Jon would be unable to be ardent and he would just shut down.  People thought that Jon’s reaction to authority figures was superfluous or weird.  But one day Jon’s reactions would be the near end of him.  Jon was walking home alone with a hoodie on.  A police officer pulled up beside him and said he looked like a gang shooting suspect who had just been seen in the area.  Jon immediately froze up because of his fear, and the police officer was not happy with that. “Why aren’t you responding boy?” he asked Jon, but Jon remained silent.  “Alright, come here you punk you’re under arrest!” The cop approached Jon, then proceded to beat him, cuff him, and take him down to the police station.  Jon was frightened as all hell.  The police officer left him in a dank interrogation room for hours with two other police officers constantly grilling them.  Jon was crying profusely and he ended up soiling himself because he was just so scared.  Then the worst thing that could possibly happen happened.  Jon began to have a panic attack.  He could only take so much before his fears took hold of him and harmed him.  The police officers thought this was just a tactic for Jon to get out of the room so they ignored him.  Jon couldn’t catch his breath.  He began turning blue.  “Very convincing, but we aren’t buying it” said one of the police officers.  Jon collapsed on the floor.  Jon had died from his fear of authority figures.  If he had just been able to talk when the police officer talked to him earlier, he would not have gone to the dank interrogation room and Jon would still be alive today.  Fear is a powerful thing.

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

SLIGHTLY RACIST ONION ARTICLE (IT WOULD BE IN THE ONION. IM NOT RACIST!)


POPE: JEWS NOT RESPONSIBLE IN DEATH OF JESUS CHRIST

Today at the Vatican, the Pope declared that no longer should the Jewish people be blamed for the death of the Christian savior, Jesus Christ.  The pope proudly stood on the balcony and proclaimed to the crowds below, “Today, I declare that no longer shall Christians blame the Jews for the death of Jesus.  Come on guys, can we really blame them?  I mean we have Mel Gibson, so I think we’re pretty equal.  We should just drop it and not blame the Jews anymore.  Come on guys!”  When asked his opinion on what the Pope declared, John Jacobstein said, “This is an historic day.  Finally, I can walk down the street without someone yelling ‘Hey! You killed Jesus!’ I will be outside much more now.”  Many people question the Pope’s declaration.  Mel Gibson is leading the front of “THE P.R.I.C.K.S.”(The Pope Is Crazy Kill Semites).  THE P.R.I.C.K.S are a group of self-proclaimed bible experts who believe their interpretation of the bible and pretty much everything else is better than anyone else’s.  THE P.R.I.C.K.S. intend to make sure that everyone hears their intolerant, close-minded, idiotic ideas and that everyone believes them.  We interviewed Mr. Smith, a common sense expert, and his response to THE P.R.I.C.K.S. was “What the fuck is this?! The fuck are these guys thinking?! Are they trying to make Americans look like ignorant dumbasses?  These people are the epitome of our global society.”  Clearly common sense is not one of the ideals of THE P.R.I.C.K.S.  Jews everywhere are celebrating the good news despite THE P.R.I.C.K.S.  They are all going out to temple, shopping thriftily, and managing peoples money free of charge.  Clearly the Jewish community is ecstatic about what the Pope has declared.  Some believe that this is just a campaign tactic that the Pope is using for his Presidential Candidacy in 2012.  To check out the current status of THE P.R.I.C.K.S., the Jews, or the Pope’s Presidential Candidacy, go to the website “POPEFORPREZ.ORG” or “WEARETHEPRICKS.COM” We asked a local stoner what he thought about this whole situation, and his reply was “Whoa man that blows my mind!” followed by some undeterminable muttering that only the words GOD, DORITOS, BUBBLER, LEGALIZE, and TOFU could be clearly heard.  My editor insists that I have a minimum of 400 words in this article so to wrap this article up, I shall include a bunch of meaningless words that don’t relate at all to this article in any way.

Thursday, March 3, 2011

BLOG AND READING RESPONSE #9

BLOG: We are almost finished with our documentary.  Lalisa will get the final B-roll, and I plan to have Bea write up a script for voice-over stuff in the documentary.  We edit on Saturday and Sunday.  Hopefully the project will turn out great!

READING RESPONSE:  The article begins with my favorite quote. it was said by Voltaire.  It is "I thoroughly disagree with what you say, but I shall defend to the death your right to say it." This made me think that I would love the article.  The article is on Freedom Of Speech, which is something I think is very important if not one of the most important.  I really liked the article mainly because of its subject matter rather than its content.

Thursday, February 10, 2011

BLOG AND READING RESPONSE #6

BLOG: our blog is going very well. today we interviewed 3 people who work in Hennepin county with a good family friend of mine, Phil Eckhert.  they gave us so much info i believe that its possible to almost make the entire documentary with it.

READING RESPONSE: The article starts out with the phrase "We are five friends" which is quite relatable for most people.  other than that i found the article simplistic and dull, as in the story is written quite informally and is not very intelligent.

Thursday, February 3, 2011

BLOG POST #5 AND READING RESPONSE

BLOG: Our documentary is going very well.  We had Bea Cooper join our group today (THURSDAY) and I think this will allow us to get more work done.  We have 6 people to interview I believe.  Nick Bates is one, Dan and Becky O'Loughlin are two and three.  Phil Eckhert is four, and I believe he will bring 2 people with him.  Phil is also giving us lots of important and helpful information because my family is friends with his.  This will be very helpful for our documentary.

READING RESPONSE: I personally did not find this reading very interesting.  It did not hold my attention very well.  It is definitely a really well written poem, but I didn't really like it.  Langston Hughes is a very skilled poet and this poem is very well written for sure.  But overall, I didn't like it very much.

Thursday, January 27, 2011

BLOG POST #4 AND READING RESPONSE

DOCUMENTARY: So far my group has acquired 4 very good people to interview. the only obstacle ahead is the actual interviews themselves.  We must schedule all the interviews so that we can film them all before having to return the camera.

READING RESPONSE: I really liked the first line of the article.  I love the topic of this article because interviews are the current issue my group is dealing with.  The article shows the diversity of interviews and tp[s on how to properly interview.  These tips will be very beneficial when my group conducts our interviews.

Thursday, January 20, 2011

BLOG POST #3 AND READING RESPONSE

DOCUMENTARY: So far in my groups documentary, we have accomplished a solid plan for our documentary and now it is time to fix all the small mistakes and bring everything together.  I feel this will be a good project.

Reading Response: 
One thing I learned from reading the article is that every documentary has a "value". I was unaware of this because I thought some documentaries were just made for fun.  The reading also makes me think that no matter how long I make my documentary there won't be enough room for all the important information.  There is always so much information for every topic that you can't include everything in a documentary, especially one that is only five to ten minutes long.

Thursday, January 13, 2011

BLOG POST #2 AND READING RESPONSE

DOCUMENTARY: So far in my groups documentary we have picked a topic and have started planning how we will film, edit, who we will interview, etc.  I am still pondering how well we will manage our time and if we will have enough free time to film and edit.  We are definitely working together because if we didn't, the project would be awful.

READING RESPONSE: One thing I learned from the article is that the definition for documentary is very diverse and can be many things.  This surprised me because I thought there was only one definition for documentary.  This article has opened up the diversity a documentary can really have.  This article was really well written and I liked it.  I liked the topic of the article but I would prefer a different topic for the next reading.